Friday, March 24, 2006

Don't Deliver Us From Evil, Deliver Us Some Pizza Already!



Mondo Macabro has decided to release yet another horror flick that has yet to work its way into the filmic consciousness - namely, Don't Deliver Us From Evil. If you want to read an in-depth synopsis of it, go to International Walnut for the scoop (no walnuts on mine, please - extra cherries will do). I am here merely to offer the problems I had with it.

O.K., so two young girls with too much time on their hands and too much Satan on the brain - I know, I know, there can never be enough Satan on the brain, can there? - decide to dedicate their lives to sin. And do so by tormenting people (fine) and then tormenting animals (hey!) - namely, poisoning/torturing some caged birds. If the filmmakers had really killed the birds, I would be totally hating the film at this point. Luckily, they only drugged the lil' critters. But still, the scene made me absolutely loathe the protagonists, and wish for their subsequent rapes and disembowelments - which, alas, failed to pass. As a feminist, I rarely wish rape on a character in a film. What disappointed me about these wicked children is the fact that they were so very, well, stupid. They were rich, bored children who claimed that their parents didn't love them and spent their time alternately pouting and riding their bicycles through the streets (if they'd been older they would have been in sportscars). Smart evil I can appreciate. I love a good serial killer with a highly developed intelligence that gives me the shivers in a cine flick, but I dislike it when we are left to follow the tales of the kids who constantly giggle in the back of the class and somehow end up armed. Uck. Why do I dislike it so? Because that is, unfortunately, what reality is composed of. The intelligent people never end up exacting violent revenge on the idiots of the globe, nope, instead it's always the dingleberry who gets tossed a loaded gun and a can of Cheez Whiz. So in essence, I failed to escape to anywhere fun in this film. Instead, my constant anxieties about the injustices and stupidity of society waxed in my brain while I prayed for violence to at least come about and distract me for a good five minutes or so. Well, violence not directed towards animals, at least. But lo! Disappointment abounded while Joel Seria made the girls do the evil things that children quite often do in the real world, and threw in a few rounds of Hit-the-Catholic just for good measure (as he explains in his interview, he had bad experiences with the church, so makes sure to enact a few Catholic-specific blasphemies of a mundane sort - namely a made-up Black Mass and some host-tossing in a lake).

The sexuality of the girls was ambiguous - no buxom Vampire Lovers a la Hammer in this one - but plenty of cockteasing fodder for men who love the prepubescent/underage crowd. Which is a fetish that I can't even understand. Underage boys inspire my need to nurture and lecture (depending on whether they're hungry or tracking mud in the house), not to hump. Underage girls should do the same for men, but instead society loves to emphasize the taboo for God-only-knows (well, maybe some sociologists might care to expound, too) what reason.

So I left this film feeling: A: bored - the first 40 minutes really made me want to sleep, but the cheesy music kept me awake. And B: annoyed - must we keep Catholic-bashing, animal torturing, and arming the people who would normally have been eliminated through natural selection if it weren't for hospitals and electricity?

The one cool thing: the girls reading Maldoror in bed. I loved that book.

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